Visitation Rights
Yesterday was my first day off since I've been back in NH. I worked 7 days in a row and monday I drove my mom down to the airport which is not just down the road. On my way back I stopped and had lunch with zack.
Zack and I worked started working together at the trading post nine years ago neither of us have been there (until last Monday) for a few years. We ate and told stories about the old days and laughed, it was good. And then we talked about other friends and what they were up to, buying houses and getting married and having children and all that.
Later in the evening I saw my friend chris who I went to high school with and who also was in my band way back when. We talked about old times and I sat in his nice little house with his cat, dog, wife, and small child. It was pleasant I caught him up on all my travels and what I was doing with music, and he talked about married life and working construction and family stuff.
On the way home I found myself driving extra slow (like below the speed limit) and in a very melancholy mood. I found my self almost jealous of my friends...what with their steady jobs and stable relationships and all. And here I am five years out of highschool with no such thing not even a degree until next year (ok so january but still next year) a degree which is costing me a significant amount of money.
So yes I admit it I was a little lonely but thats not the real issue. I am a traveler, always have been, no exaggeration I grew up with a suitcase in the trunk at almost all times. I have been amazing places and done crazy things and met awesome people. People I who have changed and shaped my life in ways I can't even begin to write about. At what cost?
Stability. Consistency. I'm tired of missing people and moving on and being "from" where ever I just was for the last few months. I still love traveling, I just look forward to always coming back to the same place. Or having the same person to greet me when I get "home" or having the person with me so we can at least be vagabonds together.
I know now is not the season and today I was pretty much fine but last night was a different story. This is not really a funny or interesting post it's just my thoughts in this my first week as a 23 year old.
j.
Zack and I worked started working together at the trading post nine years ago neither of us have been there (until last Monday) for a few years. We ate and told stories about the old days and laughed, it was good. And then we talked about other friends and what they were up to, buying houses and getting married and having children and all that.
Later in the evening I saw my friend chris who I went to high school with and who also was in my band way back when. We talked about old times and I sat in his nice little house with his cat, dog, wife, and small child. It was pleasant I caught him up on all my travels and what I was doing with music, and he talked about married life and working construction and family stuff.
On the way home I found myself driving extra slow (like below the speed limit) and in a very melancholy mood. I found my self almost jealous of my friends...what with their steady jobs and stable relationships and all. And here I am five years out of highschool with no such thing not even a degree until next year (ok so january but still next year) a degree which is costing me a significant amount of money.
So yes I admit it I was a little lonely but thats not the real issue. I am a traveler, always have been, no exaggeration I grew up with a suitcase in the trunk at almost all times. I have been amazing places and done crazy things and met awesome people. People I who have changed and shaped my life in ways I can't even begin to write about. At what cost?
Stability. Consistency. I'm tired of missing people and moving on and being "from" where ever I just was for the last few months. I still love traveling, I just look forward to always coming back to the same place. Or having the same person to greet me when I get "home" or having the person with me so we can at least be vagabonds together.
I know now is not the season and today I was pretty much fine but last night was a different story. This is not really a funny or interesting post it's just my thoughts in this my first week as a 23 year old.
j.
posted by j. at
9:15 PM
1 Comments:
I wrote my first "lonely" song when I was 23. Sucks. But it is a season. And I know you know that. So I'll move on. Miss ya, J.
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