Happy 50th Post

The last post was morrisless 50th post in celebration and due to my sure lack of ambition I have dug my very first post up from the archives.

(first post as stephenglass)

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Relief Hellicopter shot with bow and arrow in South Asia An Indian helicopter dropping food and water over the remote Andaman and Nicobar Islands has been attacked by tribesmen using bows and arrows. Oh no! not a relief helicopter what should we do? I know let's shoot it down. Unfortunately with the present military campaigns against weapons of mass distruction, and all those south asian gun control laws the were forced to shoot bows. Darn that patriot act yeah, and that western mind set. Politicians are now lobbying for stricter bow control Southern Asia. (fist post about myself) Thursday, March 03, 2005 Jewishy Shmikits Series of Everyday Events Beep! Beep! Beep! I could have sworn I set my alarm/ radio/ clock/ phone/ tape player/ toaster oven for six a.m. and I'm sure I fliped the radio alarm switch. However, instead of waking up to the melodious sounds of Lil' Jon sckreaming Yeeaahh! in my ear, all I hear is beep, beep, beep. So why am I staring deep into the eyes of 4:55? Because it's Thursday and thats no alarm clock, no, it's the garbage truck, or should I say the waste receptical motor vehicle. (We have to be politically correct so as not to offend any "waste managment personel") I am pretty sure that truck was directly out side my window for 45 min.. At any rate I decided to hit the snooze for "five more min." and woke up around 7:45, which would have been fine if not for that whole getting to class on time thing. After a "refreshing" (by refreshing I mean freezing cold.) shower and some watery (my rice milk was a little old) raisn bran I was ready to go. I walked out into the halway to find the building maintenence guy with a large sander by his side. They have been refinishing the floors on our hall this week and aparantly they decided 9:30 was a good time to start the workday. My roomate was incredibly blessed. After a white washed ride at a tortise pace I arrived at school. I have to say the absolute worst part of my day was when I was in the sci. lab studying for my test; I went over to the window cill to grab a tissue for my running nose. Empty! What kind of sick trickery is this. I made it through the test and headed home to study for another exam that I have tomorrow. I went to grab my roomates laptop which he aparantly dedided to take to school with him. There goes my afternoon of online Biology quizzez. After some serious strategizing I decided the most efficient course of action was a 3 hour power nap. To top it all off I missed my favorite show thanks to some "friends" of mine. Thank God for digital cable. Unfortunately no one taped American Idol tonight, I guess I'l have to wait until next week to se left over pop hasbeens tell aspiring performers how to have long lasting music careers. "straight up now tell me do you really wan't your career to last forever" Well unless you wan't to end up doing burger king commercials with such famous musicians as N'SYNC and Hootie and Blowfish I suggest you quit the competition now. I believe I am going to retire now and try to wake up tomorrow on the right side of the bed. To bad it's a fouton and their is only one side to wake up on. J.

first morrisless post
Saturday, April 09, 2005

The Sick Sense

A strip of gradient blue separates the silhouette of the rolling horizon and the sky which is like a floodlight covered in black velvet punctured by a thousand needles. A melancholy country song plays on my radio and my mind is lost in an imaginative daydream. Suddenly my senses are overloaded by the smell of spring in the North Country. As I drive by the corn field I am reminded of why I was so anxious for my town turn into a frozen tundra. That smell was not the sweet aroma of daisies and dandelions; on the contrary it was "fertilizer"! Can somebody please tell me why with all the technology we have we can't find an odor neutralized for freaken fertilizer. Yet another perfectly good spring evening ruined by the cornfield farmers of NY. I don't know if you noticed but it (corn) comes in a can now, on a shelf, in a store. And that whole corn maize maze thing is fun but its not worth the 6 months of stench. But the farmers are here to stay, so grab your grandma's clothespin and get ready for some summer fun.
j.