Mario Mario Wherefore Art Thou Mario?

Crawling around his parent’s attic looking through boxes he finally found what he was looking for. He walked through our apartment door and said, “Bro check it out, look what I brought back from the house.” As I checked out the box I started to feel all nostalgic. I began to remember the glory days of my childhood. The late eighties, a time of terminators, bad hair, neon clothes, and of course super Mario brothers. The item in the box was an original 1985 NES (Nintendo) box, complete with games and paddles. “Sweet”, I replied. At any rate for the last 2 weeks I have had a steady dose of Mario 1, 2, and 3. Quite enjoyable as it may be, these games have left me baffled. It’s called “Super Mario Brothers” You have Super Mario and Luigi the brother. Why does Mario get to be super and poor Luigi is just the brother? If I were Luigi I would be a little upset. Although maybe the fact that he was tall and skinny instead of short and fat was a little consoling. I pondered this for a while until someone suggested that they were both “Super” supposing Mario was their last name, and each individual was his own Super Mario. OK, I’ll buy that, Mario and Luigi Mario. Can we get any more stereo typical? They might just as well have called it “The Greasy Italian Brothers” or the “Not all Italians are in the mob in fact some of us like to save princesses and eat mushrooms” Brothers. What are two plumbers from Brooklyn doing in that strange world of goombas and warp tubes any way? And what’s with all the “magic” mushrooms? I know eating your vegetables is important but the idea of being turned from a midget into a fat Italian and then being sucked down a big green pipe sounds a little shady to me. And “flower power”, what’s up with that? Use this flower to throw flaming meatballs at ducks with turtle shells. That is brilliant. Given Super Mario’s abundant use of hidden drug references, improper courtship relationship with the princes, racial stereo typing, and annoying sound track, not to mention all the precious time it wastes, I have deduced “Mario is of the devil.” So go ahead get out that old school NES and show em how it’s done. But don’t come crawling to me when you’re a hungry deprived drug addict who hates Italians and shelled ducks and enjoys throwing flaming meat balls at innocent bystanders. I wonder if Nintendo intended Mario to be part Jewish as well. Seriously, anyone who collects coins for extra life must be a little Jewish. Maybe Mario is not so bad after all.
j.