Interview With the Tempire
Tempire = temp+ hire derived from vampire. "Interview with the vampire" 1999
Classes will be ending soon and many of you will be out hunting for that summer job. The interview is one of the most important hoops a job seeker must jump through when searching for work. I am going to with you share some tips and advice that are sure to get you that dream job.
This is M.D. J.'s guide to the modern interview.
1. Make up a resume that shows you are a multifaceted employee.
List every little thing you have ever done and are able to do, from tying your shoes to basic mathematics and reading, and that time you milked a goat...
2. Sound professional.
Listen to nothing but talk radio for two weeks prior to your interview and try to imitate that NPR vocal quality.
3. Dress for success.
If you look like Rod Roddi from The Price is Right (or like a pimp) you are on the right track.
4. Be prepared honestly and tactfully answer questions about your work ethic.
Q. What's your greatest strength? A. I'm really attractive.
Q. What's your biggest weakness? A. I'm kinda lazy
Q. What is your ideal career? A. A job where I can make the most money doing the littlest amount of work, and still have a really cool position title.
Q. Where do you se yourself in 5 years A. Not it this dump that's for sure.
Q. Why should you get this job instead of the other applicants? A. You probably shouldn't but I'm better looking than they are.
Q. How about your SAT and your ACT? A. First of all I know how to spell act and sat, I don't really like theater and I am really good at sitting.
Q. How do you feel about hamburgers?
Well that's it for now come back next week and we will talk about how to work your way up to middle management.
j.
Classes will be ending soon and many of you will be out hunting for that summer job. The interview is one of the most important hoops a job seeker must jump through when searching for work. I am going to with you share some tips and advice that are sure to get you that dream job.
This is M.D. J.'s guide to the modern interview.
1. Make up a resume that shows you are a multifaceted employee.
List every little thing you have ever done and are able to do, from tying your shoes to basic mathematics and reading, and that time you milked a goat...
2. Sound professional.
Listen to nothing but talk radio for two weeks prior to your interview and try to imitate that NPR vocal quality.
3. Dress for success.
If you look like Rod Roddi from The Price is Right (or like a pimp) you are on the right track.
4. Be prepared honestly and tactfully answer questions about your work ethic.
Q. What's your greatest strength? A. I'm really attractive.
Q. What's your biggest weakness? A. I'm kinda lazy
Q. What is your ideal career? A. A job where I can make the most money doing the littlest amount of work, and still have a really cool position title.
Q. Where do you se yourself in 5 years A. Not it this dump that's for sure.
Q. Why should you get this job instead of the other applicants? A. You probably shouldn't but I'm better looking than they are.
Q. How about your SAT and your ACT? A. First of all I know how to spell act and sat, I don't really like theater and I am really good at sitting.
Q. How do you feel about hamburgers?
Well that's it for now come back next week and we will talk about how to work your way up to middle management.
j.
posted by j. at
9:38 AM
4 Comments:
Jason that was so funny. Where do you come up with this stuff? I especially loved the "ACT and SAT" that has hilarious!
funny jas. funny.
very funny. hahahaha...
Wow. That's one multifaceted employee.
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